Hi, Mr. Analog Kid. This is Lily Adams from AT&T. I usually work at one of my company’s phone store outlets, but I was recently called into service to assist with a massive U-verse outage in your area. Thousands of customers were without cell, internet, and television service for more than five days.
Despite this widespread disruption, nobody at AT&T had a clue what was wrong or how to fix it. Many users were told that an outage didn’t even exist, even though their blank TV screens and non-connected wireless accounts said otherwise.
Since I usually work in the cell phone division, I was of absolutely no help in restoring your service– that’s one reason it took five days for your AT&T services to come back on-line. I am sorry that you couldn’t blog or make a phone call or download porn or watch Sports Center during that time, and I hope that my continued cuteness will keep you from putting our service where it belongs: in the dumpster.
A note from The Analog Kid: now that my services are back up (knock on wood), regular blogging will return tomorrow. In the meantime, please enjoy this new rip of the Night Shift soundtrack that I uploaded to a prior blog post earlier today.